It was with somewhat of a heavy heart . . . and somewhat of a new found joy, that I pulled away from the departure curb.
I was alone.
I was embarking into my new found reality . . . alone.
I would leave
My circumstance should have shouted fear, worry and doubt.
But you already know the truth of what my reality really was . . . adventure, freedom and safety. As long as I was walking with Him, journeying with Him, living this life with Him . . . nothing else really seemed to matter. I was safe.
My first week in
I had updated my resume and given it to Ms. B to pass along to the CPA, but hadn’t heard anything back. She also asked if she could give my resume to another gentleman that she knew was looking for someone, I figured it couldn’t hurt and told her that would be fine. But I hadn’t heard anything from him either. After a week of resting and enjoying not having to DO anything, I figured it was time for me to start looking for a job. I knew that I didn’t want to go back into the food business, but other than that, I had no ideas of what I wanted to do. Once again, for reasons I can’t explain, I thought it was finally time for me to start doing something to make this all work out. So with the best of intentions I spent some time seeking the Lord about where I should go and apply for a job. The answer was something I never expected, but the soothing, soft voice was more apparent than ever before,
“I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
Wait?
You don’t want me to go anywhere to apply for a job?
Then how am I ever going to find a place to work?
Isn’t this how this works Lord?
You tell me where to go and that’s where I go, and then I get a job?
(the voice was gentle, but there was almost a childlike excitement this time)
“I don’t want you to go anywhere.
What do you want to do today?”
What do I want to do today?
What do mean?
“Today is about you. What do you want to do today?”
Well . . . I haven’t just stayed at home and watched a movie in a really long time . . . that sounds great. Can I do that?
(with relief that I was getting the idea and again with child like excitement, the voice continued)
“Of course you can! Let’s go watch a movie.”
And that’s exactly what I did. I watched a movie, slept a little, read some of a book I was really enjoying, and just enjoyed the day.
The next day, after thoroughly enjoying the day before, I was ready to go! I was rested and feeling good to hit the streets. My resume was ready and so was I!
Ok God, thanks for my relaxing day yesterday, I am ready to go! Where do you want me to go?
(the always patient, always loving voice was there, yet again)
“I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
Seriously?
But God, I really am feeling good and ready to go get that job that you have for me.
“I don’t want you to go anywhere.
What do you want to do today?”
Wait . . . what?
You mean I can do something like yesterday again today??
“Yes! Today is about you.
What do you want to do today?”
Oh man! Well . . . I haven’t taken pictures in a really long time. I would love to get out my camera and go explore
(this time the voice almost seem to have a bit of a laugh to it)
“Of course you can! Let’s go explore and take pictures.”
My day of taking pictures . . . I will always remember!
Not only did I get lost more often than I knew where I was going, and not only did I take some pretty amazing pictures . . . but I spent the whole day consciously aware of the presence of my Maker. It was almost like He had been waiting for this day since the dawn of time. And I was finally not too busy with all of life’s distractions to remember that He was always there. I slept so well that night . . . almost like I hadn’t slept in weeks. It was almost as if . . . I needed more rest than I thought I did.
The next day I wasn’t quite sure what to think. Do I even ask today? Or is today going to be something special again? But I knew one thing for sure . . . my mindset on all this. . was changing.
Hey God. It’s me. Just checking in. Just wanted to see what was planned for today.
“What do you want to do today?”
I just want to be with You. I’m loving this change of pace and this change of lifestyle. I really have missed playing my guitar . . . how about that? Can I do that for just a bit today?
“Yes, I love time with you and your guitar. Let’s do that!”
My life was changing. I no longer insisted on solving the world’s problems and having to have an agenda. I was learning that life was not all about what I was capable of DOING. You see . . . this “what would you like to do today?” lasted for 6 weeks.
I played my guitar more than I ever had.
I started running again.
I discovered an afternoon nap again.
I finished 4 books . . . and I don’t really read much.
I watched a good number of movies.
I took and edited lots of pictures.
I slept.
I started a blog about my journey to
No job.
No active applying for one.
No online applications.
That wasn’t how this was going to work . . .
During those six weeks I really hadn’t heard much of anything from anyone who had my resume. I played the classic phone tag with the CPA. He was very interested in having me come and work for him, but it was as if we just couldn’t figure out a time to meet or really get anything going. And now that it was after Thanksgiving and before Christmas, I knew that the holidays would be taking up most people’s time. I had made plans to go back to
December 17, 2009
It was only 5 days before I was going to be leaving to go to
A phone call. It was the CPA, Greg.
He wanted to meet with me before I left for
When I arrived at his house I was instantly at peace. His home was beautiful and full of Christmas decorations. Everywhere you looked there was an ornament or present or a tree. It even smelled like Christmas. We went into the front room and began to talk. He was so easy to talk with. I wasn’t sure what he would ask me, but I really felt like I was ready for just about anything. Until he asked a question that really made me stop and think . . . So, what brought you to
