Arkansas: Part 2

James Bennett.

How would I get a hold of him?

What would I say?

How would I ever begin to explain all this?

I hadn’t talked with James in 4 years.

I wouldn’t even know how to begin.

But remember, some of the best stories . . . don’t always have the best beginnings.

I left the doctor’s office and sat in my car . . . not really sure what I should do next. Maybe this wasn’t happening. Maybe I should wait. . . and maybe I shouldn’t.

As these thoughts flooded my mind, I knew that I had to call James.

And I had to do it soon.

You know that feeling that get when you are walking up the ladder of a high diving board? You know that if you think about it too much you may not jump at all. So you keep climbing, walk to the end of the board and without a thought in your head, you jump . . . . that’s how I felt. I was climbing the ladder and had reached the top.

I had to jump.

So I grabbed my cell phone and quickly looked through the contact list . . . please, please, please say that he’s still in here. And then there it was, a sigh of relief. And without a thought in my head, I hit SEND. As to be expected, it began to ring . . . but then the sudden realization of being on the diving board, gave me a bit of a scare. So many thoughts came running into my mind all at once, it would be impossible for me to write them all now. His voice mail came on, sigh . . but then just as quick as the sigh came another series of thoughts came to mind . . . Now What?!

I’m pretty certain that in the history of awkward voice mails left on people’s phones, this would probably make the Top 10. I stumbled over my words and I’m still not certain how much sense it really made. “Hey James, I k-k-k-know this is probably coming as . . . a-a-a-a surprise me c-a-a-a-alling you after all this time” This wasn’t working. Breathe. . . . Ok . . . I finally gathered myself and my thoughts, “God has turned my world up side down and you and Codi are at the forefront of my mind, and I have to know why”. As I hung up the phone I knew it had begun and now it couldn’t be stopped. I had jumped . . . . I had jumped.

10:00am June 7^th, 2009

My phone rang.

I didn’t even have to look.

I knew it was James.

Emotions ran through me and excitement overwhelmed me. I tried to answer as calmly as I could, but I’m sure the excitement in my voice was obvious. “Hello!” We did the normal “how are you” “good” “how are you”, but James quickly took us to the topic at hand. I will always remember some of his first words, “I want you to know, your call was not a surprise to me, and it is good to hear your voice.” The next 45 minutes were spent sharing. I told him of my struggles with where my life was going and how I was ready to break out. He shared with me about the church and 24/7. The result of the conversation was that I could come down to Arkansas and visit. Check things out. Meet people.

After I hung up a new excitement raced through me.

This is happening. This is really, really happening.

But almost at that exact same moment . . . a quick reality check hit me.

How was I ever going to get the time off of work??

I have to give you a little restaurant info and background, it’ll help.

Being a restaurant manager is amazing. Great people. Great food. Lots of perks. One of the not-so-great things about being a restaurant manager . . . time off, or lack there of. My boss, Brent, absolutely amazing man. Fortunately I had worked with him off-and-on for about 8 years. He knew me well. He knew me when I was in 24/7 and he is a huge factor of why I was so successful in the restaurant world. But he was still my boss. And asking to change my vacation time to go check out a place that I wanted to leave my job for??

This is it. This is where the road ends. I couldn’t do this.

What would I say?

What would Brent say?

Echo . . . echo . . . My heart longs for something more . . . echo . . . echo.

I had to do this.

God . . . this is your unknown . . . not mine. You are with me. You will not leave me.

A few days later at work I was ready. I had thought about every possible answer I may have to give, I was ready for anything. Bring it on. I gathered my composure and asked Brent if I could change my vacation time. I asked for a week off in July instead of September. I expected questions, curiosity, interest . . . . something.

And you know what I got . . .

Sure.

That’s it? No questions? No curiosity? No nothing? Just a simple . . . Sure.

I’ll take it!

It was beginning to become very apparent to me that there was more at work and more going on than what I knew. This intricate working of people and places wasn’t as jumbled of a mess as it may appear. Oh no . . . it was beautiful. God’s orchestration . . . beautiful. So won’t you come with me now? It’s time to go check out Arkansas!