Arkansas: Part 10

For those of you who have been following my blog, you will definitely understand why this question is not an easy one for me to answer. As you know, there is so much to tell.

So many people. So many circumstances and situations that need to be explained.

What brought me to Arkansas?

A smile stretched across my face and I took a deep breath. I responded . . .

“It really is an amazing story and I would love to tell you. But it’s going to take a little bit of time. Do you really want to know?”

He leaned back in his chair with ease and replied, “Yes, I really think I do.”

And so it began . . . very much as this blog began.

I told him about my life in Colorado, my job . . . the longing for something more.

I told him about the coffee day with Becca and Stephanie and the phone call with James.

I told him about coming and visiting only 5 months early. Meeting Ms. B. Meeting Lisa.

I told him about quitting my job and the rollercoaster of events that had happened.

My concluding thoughts were about the drive out with Stephanie . . and ended my story with the classic . . “And now I’m here meeting with you.”

All in all . . it took about 35 minutes.

Telling my story to someone face to face is always a wonderful experience. To see their eyes fixated on my every word. To watch them nod their head in agreement because there is something about my story that they can so easily relate to. To share tears about life’s twists, turns and the common ground of “my heart longs for something more.”

I love sharing my story.

Greg was amazed.

He said that a lot of people at the church in Conway had similar stories.

It was as if God was strategically bringing people to this place.

Preparing a group of hearts for some amazing part of His story.

Gathering His people for something epic.

Greg had another question for me. . . . “Do you want to know the story about this job

position?”

With great eagerness I listened as Greg began to explain his side of the story. Like my story, he had to back up a few months and give me some context so I would understand the full scope of everything. He shared about the people in the office, what they did and who they were. He explained how the position had become available. He explained how they didn’t want to post a “now hiring” ad for the job. He only wanted to look for someone by word of mouth. Nothing flashy. Nothing fancy.

Let me share with you his story:

We knew we were looking for someone specific. We knew that it wouldn’t be easy to fill the position, so we knew it may take some time. The only real deadline we were up against was tax season, which really gets underway in January. My wife and I were praying the Lord would bring us the right person for the job, that He would raise someone up and bring them to us. I wanted to get my mom involved. She’s a little o’le prayer warrior up in northern Arkansas, so I called her and told her we were making some changes in the office and would she be praying for us. I also told her about the position that we were needing to fill, but also our desire not to broadcast that we were hiring. My mom was very eager to be praying for us. So after talking with her a little bit longer we hung up and I continued with my day. About 15 minutes later my cell phone rang and it was my mom. She was very excited and told me that she thought I should talk to Rick Bezet.

Time out: Gotta give you some quick context. Rick Bezet is the lead pastor at the church I was attending in Conway. He has been the pastor of the church for about 9 years. The important part for you to know . . . his mom . . . is Ms. B.

Continuing on with Greg’s story . . .

I thought this was an interesting approach to take and thanked my mom for the idea. I told her that getting a hold of Rick was no easy task. Now that the church has multiple campuses . .. well, Risk is just a very busy man. I told my mom that I had an even better idea. . . I would see if Ms. B knew of anyone that would work for the position. I don’t know if you know this yet, but Ms. B practically knows everyone in Conway. (I thought to myself, oh yes, I know this) I didn’t remember to call her for a little while. But as we were approaching the beginning of November and I knew the holidays were right around the corner . . . I knew I needed to get a hold of her . . . and I needed to get a hold of her soon The next day I was unexpectedly working late at the office when my son called me and asked me if I wanted to meet them for dinner. It was time for me to get home so I took them up on the offer. I asked where we were gonna go and the only place they wanted to go was Ruby Tuesday’s. Now I’m not a big fan of Ruby Tuesday’s, but I was too tired to really object. So I left the office and headed to the restaurant to meet with them. Now when I got to the restaurant and walked in . . . you will NEVER guess who was seated at a table just inside. . . MS. B!! She was sitting there with two other women. I couldn’t believe it . . . .

Greg continued to tell the story, but I phased out for a second.

He doesn’t remember!

He doesn’t realize that I was one of those women sitting at the table that very night!

In that moment . . . it was as if worlds were colliding.

Greg and his wife had prayed that someone would be raised up and brought to them. Greg’s mom had the idea to talk with the Pastor Rick and Ms. B.

Greg and his kids just “happened” to eat at Ruby Tuesday’s the very same night Ms. B, Stephanie and I had!

This was CRAZY!!

What was happening?!

I knew that I had to tell Greg.

I had to interrupt.

I had to tell him.

“Can I stop you for just a second? I have to tell you something.”

He politely let me interrupt his story. . . . “Sure.”

“That night . . . at Ruby Tuesday’s . . . I was one of the women at Ms. B’s table.”

He remembered. . . . and worlds collided once again.

I will never forget how he sat back in his chair and just stared at me.

It was as if I could see the dots quickly connecting in his mind.

He was having the same recollection I had only seconds ago.

Finally he said . . .

“It was you . . . it was you . . . it’s always been you.”

We then sat in silence for what felt like forever. But it was a good silence. And when the moment was right . . . I smiled and said . . . “Welcome to my story.”

Arkansas: Part 9

It was with somewhat of a heavy heart . . . and somewhat of a new found joy, that I pulled away from the departure curb.

I was alone.

I was embarking into my new found reality . . . alone.

I would leave Dallas and travel back to Conway . . . alone.

My circumstance should have shouted fear, worry and doubt.

But you already know the truth of what my reality really was . . . adventure, freedom and safety. As long as I was walking with Him, journeying with Him, living this life with Him . . . nothing else really seemed to matter. I was safe.

My first week in Conway wasn’t all that eventful.

I had updated my resume and given it to Ms. B to pass along to the CPA, but hadn’t heard anything back. She also asked if she could give my resume to another gentleman that she knew was looking for someone, I figured it couldn’t hurt and told her that would be fine. But I hadn’t heard anything from him either. After a week of resting and enjoying not having to DO anything, I figured it was time for me to start looking for a job. I knew that I didn’t want to go back into the food business, but other than that, I had no ideas of what I wanted to do. Once again, for reasons I can’t explain, I thought it was finally time for me to start doing something to make this all work out. So with the best of intentions I spent some time seeking the Lord about where I should go and apply for a job. The answer was something I never expected, but the soothing, soft voice was more apparent than ever before,

“I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

Wait?

You don’t want me to go anywhere to apply for a job?

Then how am I ever going to find a place to work?

Isn’t this how this works Lord?

You tell me where to go and that’s where I go, and then I get a job?

(the voice was gentle, but there was almost a childlike excitement this time)

“I don’t want you to go anywhere.

What do you want to do today?”

What do I want to do today?

What do mean?

“Today is about you. What do you want to do today?”

Well . . . I haven’t just stayed at home and watched a movie in a really long time . . . that sounds great. Can I do that?

(with relief that I was getting the idea and again with child like excitement, the voice continued)

“Of course you can! Let’s go watch a movie.”

And that’s exactly what I did. I watched a movie, slept a little, read some of a book I was really enjoying, and just enjoyed the day.

The next day, after thoroughly enjoying the day before, I was ready to go! I was rested and feeling good to hit the streets. My resume was ready and so was I!

Ok God, thanks for my relaxing day yesterday, I am ready to go! Where do you want me to go?

(the always patient, always loving voice was there, yet again)

“I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

Seriously?

But God, I really am feeling good and ready to go get that job that you have for me.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere.

What do you want to do today?”

Wait . . . what?

You mean I can do something like yesterday again today??

“Yes! Today is about you.

What do you want to do today?”

Oh man! Well . . . I haven’t taken pictures in a really long time. I would love to get out my camera and go explore Conway and take some pictures. Can I do that?

(this time the voice almost seem to have a bit of a laugh to it)

“Of course you can! Let’s go explore and take pictures.”

My day of taking pictures . . . I will always remember!

Not only did I get lost more often than I knew where I was going, and not only did I take some pretty amazing pictures . . . but I spent the whole day consciously aware of the presence of my Maker. It was almost like He had been waiting for this day since the dawn of time. And I was finally not too busy with all of life’s distractions to remember that He was always there. I slept so well that night . . . almost like I hadn’t slept in weeks. It was almost as if . . . I needed more rest than I thought I did.

The next day I wasn’t quite sure what to think. Do I even ask today? Or is today going to be something special again? But I knew one thing for sure . . . my mindset on all this. . was changing.

Hey God. It’s me. Just checking in. Just wanted to see what was planned for today.

“What do you want to do today?”

I just want to be with You. I’m loving this change of pace and this change of lifestyle. I really have missed playing my guitar . . . how about that? Can I do that for just a bit today?

“Yes, I love time with you and your guitar. Let’s do that!”

My life was changing. I no longer insisted on solving the world’s problems and having to have an agenda. I was learning that life was not all about what I was capable of DOING. You see . . . this “what would you like to do today?” lasted for 6 weeks.

I played my guitar more than I ever had.

I started running again.

I discovered an afternoon nap again.

I finished 4 books . . . and I don’t really read much.

I watched a good number of movies.

I took and edited lots of pictures.

I slept.

I started a blog about my journey to Arkansas.

No job.

No active applying for one.

No online applications.

That wasn’t how this was going to work . . .

During those six weeks I really hadn’t heard much of anything from anyone who had my resume. I played the classic phone tag with the CPA. He was very interested in having me come and work for him, but it was as if we just couldn’t figure out a time to meet or really get anything going. And now that it was after Thanksgiving and before Christmas, I knew that the holidays would be taking up most people’s time. I had made plans to go back to Colorado for Christmas and New Years and I figured that a job would just have to wait until I got back.

December 17, 2009

It was only 5 days before I was going to be leaving to go to Colorado.

A phone call. It was the CPA, Greg.

He wanted to meet with me before I left for Colorado. I quickly agreed to this. He asked me to come to his house so we could meet and talk about the possible job opportunity. (for you Northerners . . I checked with Ms. B before I just went to his house. I figured going to people’s homes for interviews must be an Arkansas thing)

When I arrived at his house I was instantly at peace. His home was beautiful and full of Christmas decorations. Everywhere you looked there was an ornament or present or a tree. It even smelled like Christmas. We went into the front room and began to talk. He was so easy to talk with. I wasn’t sure what he would ask me, but I really felt like I was ready for just about anything. Until he asked a question that really made me stop and think . . . So, what brought you to Arkansas?

Arkansas: Part 8

Oklahoma City to Conway = 308 miles = 4 hours 48 minutes

Words will never be able to describe the rest of the drive.

But I will say this . . . God is good, He is in control and His promises are true.

God was crafting and molding this amazing adventure , and we were the fortunate ones who He allowed to play a part.

When we arrived at Lisa's house and I knocked on the door, it was as if two worlds were colliding.

Next to me stood a dear friend from my past and in my present. . .

In front of me was my present and the beginnings of my future.

We spent the next few days in Conway.

Finding a little coffee shop. Locating the nearest Walmart. Discovering a random park.

We got lost. And we found or way again.

The next thing I am about to tell you . . . in it's beginning, didn't seem to have much importance, but as it quickly played out . . . the realization of God's hand at work . . . would rapidly be discovered.

Ms. B had invited Stephanie and me to dinner. I was so excited for the two of them to meet. I desperately wanted Ms. B to meet my dear friend and roommate who I had spoken so much to her about. And I wanted Stephanie to meet the dear, sweet lady who had been so gracious to me and had helped me find a place to live. We met at Ruby Tuesday's and since we were still much better at getting lost than finding our way . . . we were late . . . but again, it was good that we were. We met Ms. B out front and apologized for being late. She quickly assured us that there was nothing to apologize for and we went inside. We were quickly seated at a table right near the front of the restaurant. We were in plain sight of anyone who may walk in. As we were getting situated and already flowing in conversation, Ms. B quickly asked me if I had given any more thought as to what I would do for work. With a little bit of a heavy heart, I told her no. I didn't know what I was going to do. The restaurant business was all I really knew but my heart grew even heavier in thinking about going back to it. I shared these thoughts with her and she quickly understood. The waiter came and took our drink order and being rather hungry we looked over our menus and began the endless process of what to eat. As we were doing this a random man walked up to our table and said hello. It was instantly apparent that Ms. B knew him, and as you might remember, I've already mentioned . . . Ms. B knows everyone in Conway, or once again . . . it felt this way. But we hadn't even been in the restaurant for more than five minutes and she was already recognized. They talked only for a brief minute, he apologized for interrupting and then went back to the front of the restaurant. I didn't give much thought to this at all. But as soon as he was out of ear shot, Ms. B began to tap on the table to get my attention. "Elizabeth . . . Elizabeth . . . Elizabeth, that man is looking for someone to work for him!!" Excitement exuded from her voice and I couldn't help but get excited myself. "He is?" was all I managed to respond with. "YES" she said. "He's a CPA and he needs someone to help with the clients relations side of things. He needs someone that is organized and great with people." She went on a bit more about the brief explanation he had given her. I looked at Stephanie . . . I looked at Ms. B . . . I couldn't even really speak.

The words

"It can really be this easy"

were gentler than they had ever been.

It was so soft. . . so so soft.

A job?

God you have a job for me too?

The two biggest concerns I had in moving to Arkansas were finding a place to live and finding a job. Once again, a peace that I will never be able to explain, swept over me . . .

You're gonna take care of me?

You're gonna make sure I am ok here?

Why wouldn't He??

He always had been. He ALWAYS had been. ALWAYS!

We stayed in Conway a few more days and then Stephanie and I headed for Dallas. You see, Dallas is where Stephanie was flying out of to go back to Colorado and Dallas is also where my brother and his new wife lived. There was so much to look forward to in Dallas, but going to Dallas also meant something else . . . it meant my time with Stephanie was coming to an end so much quicker than I wanted it to.

November 10, 2009

Last day in Dallas.

We got up early, packed our things and headed for the airport.

I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye to Stephanie wasn't going to be easy, but being that we were only about 15 minutes away from the airport . . . there wasn't much time to process what was happening. When we arrived at the departure drop off . . . Reality stood . . . waiting for us. I put my car in parked and we looked at each other. Whoever spoke first . . . doesn't really matter . . . because this is another moment I will always remember. It was one of the hardest goodbye's I've ever had to do . . . but there were no great tears . . . no amazingly profound speeches. We simply promised each other that this was not the end . . but oh yes, I'll say it . . . the beginning. Life as we knew it was changing. Roommates for 4 years . . . now forced to part ways. We talked about the lies that the enemy would try and use to create a wedge between us, and the efforts and strategies we would use to combat those lies.

I knew that I would love, cherish, pray for and remember Stephanie .

But the lie that the enemy would try and use . . . Would she remember me?

Stephanie knew that she would love, cherish, pray for and remember me.

The lie that the enemy would try and use against her . . . Would Elizabeth remember me?

So the truth that we needed to speak and believe . . . "I am not forgotten."

So i hugged my best friend . . . made her promise to text me once she got to Colorado . . .

and said . . .

"I'll see you soon."

Arkansas: Part 7

October 20^th, 2009

It was my last day at work.

I walked into work that day and did not know what to feel.

I had been thinking about this day since my conversation with Becca and Stephanie. What would this day feel like? Would I cry? Would I be overwhelmed with emotion? How would I handle this?

It was nothing like I expected it to be. My staff brought cards, a cake, gifts, cookies. They thanked me for all I had done and wished me the best in what I would be doing in the future. The whole evening was a bit of a blur, but at the end of the night I knew one thing, I had finished well. It was something that I had promised Brent. I told him I would be engaged and not check out until I had left. And at 10:45pm when I turned in my keys and walked out to my car . . . I looked back. This was the only time in this amazing journey that I have looked back. It wasn’t out of regret or disappointment . . . it was out of gratitude. I loved those people. I loved my boss. I loved my other managers. And I loved my dream team . . . but now, it was time to go. So for the last time, I got in my car and I left. I think of them often. I still keep in contact with quite a few of them. And Brent and I talk often.

November 2^nd, 2009

15 hours and 32 minutes = 913 miles = Colorado Springs to Conway.

This drive was much different than the first.

One of the best differences . . . I didn’t have to do it alone.

Stephanie, my roommate and dearest friend . . . came with me.

There is nothing better than a road trip with one of your best friends. We listened to podcasts, laughed at random sites along the way, talked about anything and everything. But there was depth to this time with one another. It’s almost like we both knew that the ability to just be with each other . . . was quickly going to come to an end, but neither one of us wanted to say it. It’s as if we didn’t speak it . . that maybe it wouldn’t really happen. Maybe time could somehow stop and we could have just a little bit more time with each other. So every word that was spoken, every thought that was processed . . . carried great weight, unlike conversations before.

Our goal for the day was Oklahoma City. Stephanie’s sister, Whitney, lived there. It was a little more than half way and a great place to rest. Once we arrived at her house, it was late. Too late for any real conversation. All we wanted to do was sleep. But as I wrapped myself in a blanket and got comfortable on the couch, the soft voice of the Lord began to speak. But it was different this time, there was a sternness unlike before . . . it was still comforting somehow, but I knew I really needed to listen.

“I want you to talk to Whitney. But don’t speak until it’s time.

You will know the time. And when you do speak, you will

know exactly what to say.”

I didn’t know what to think. I really didn’t know Whitney. And what I did know didn’t give me any clue about what I could possibly have to say to her? I knew that she had gone through some hard times . . . but that was it. She didn’t know me. What would she think about some random friend of her sister’s stopping for the night, telling her something crazy and then leaving. This didn’t make any sense. It didn’t make sense . . . it . . . didn’t . . . make . . . sense. As those four words echoed in my head over and over again, my heart began to come alive. NOTHING had made sense lately. Ever since June 6^th at Starbucks . . . anything I had done . . . really didn’t make sense. So in that moment . . . not knowing what I was agreeing to, I whispered back, “ok. I don’t think I have anything to say to her, but if I do . . . I’ll speak.”

The next morning I slowly woke up. Sometimes it amazes me how great sleep can be, on a couch. As I slowly began to remember where I was and what I was doing . . . the thought of talking to Whitney quickly came to mind. Alright. . I’m ready. Whenever you want me to do this Lord, I’m ready. The three of us slowly got ready for the day. We were going to go see their grandma, before we began our second day of driving. I felt a bit disconnected from the plans because I didn’t want to miss the moment of talking with Whitney. We drove in separate cars to their grandmother’s house and I couldn’t help but think, when am I going to talk with her if I’m not even with her. Once we were at their grandmother’s they quickly got caught up in family conversation. Lots was going on and they were needing to catch up. I was silent for most of the visit. It wasn’t time. Not yet. After a little while it was time to leave. We walked out to our cars and I couldn’t help but think . . . did I miss it? And almost in that exact same moment, someone suggested going to get some food. We quickly decided that getting a meal before we got on the road was a really good idea. We arrived at a cute little breakfast place, sat down in a big comfy booth and began to look over the menus. After we had ordered, I looked across the table at the two of them and Whitney looked back at me and asked, “So why are you moving to Arkansas?”

It’s as if time stopped. I hadn’t been asked this question by

someone who really didn’t know me. How would I ever

begin to tell her? I’ll have to leave a lot out so it won’t take

that long to tell. I wouldn’t want to bore her.

Speak.

Wait. This is it! My story. His orchestration. This is what

she needs to hear. I knew that I couldn’t leave out anything.

Not one detail. I needed to tell it all.

This is another moment that I will never forget. For the next hour, I told Whitney my story. I cried. She cried. She began to share with me what was going on in her life. She was ready to start moving forward and really start believing that God had a plan for her life. She was ready to stop believing the doubt and the lies and start walking in truth. It was a powerful moment. I truly believe that her life was changed.

But something else happened in this moment. You see, I had been believing a lie and I had made a wrong agreement . . . I believed that that I didn’t have story. That I never had a story. I didn’t have anything to share. But in that moment, listening to Whitney talk through her thoughts . . . that lie that I had believed for so long. . was SHATTERED. I did have a story. A powerful story. We all do. And when we don’t believe it, we say to God . . . you didn’t do good enough with me. . . I have nothing to share.

We cannot continue to believe these lies. This is what the enemy wants. He wants us to be quiet, because as soon as we start sharing our stories, there is power!

Two hours later, we walked into the parking lot. For just a moment it was only me and Whitney, and she looked at me and said, “If one of the reasons you are moviing to Arkansas was to crash at my house, tell me your story and light a fire under my butt . . . I’m so glad you were obedient.” And in this moment a thought entered my mind that humbled me and excited me all in the same instance . . .

This is going to affect more people than I could ever imagine.

Arkansas: Part 6

My heart stopped.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move.

Me? First? Wait. . . I don’t know if I’m ready? Was I ready?

Thoughts and memories flashed through my mind. Colorado. . . Arkansas. . . Leaving. . . Quitting. . Conway. . Driving. . Mountains. Lisa. Starbucks. Home. Tears. James. . .

“So what’s up Liz? What do you need to talk about?”

What.

Where do you begin? How do you tell someone, who you have worked with for years, that you were ready to leave? Why would you ever leave such a good place? Why would I ever leave??

My heart longs for something more.

I took a deep breath and calmly said, “Brent . . . I don’t even know how to start this.”

He quickly responded with, “Come’on Liz . . it’s me, just say it.”

“I’m moving.”

As the words escaped my lips, I didn’t know where this statement would take me. What would he think? Would he be supportive? Would he be mad? He had invested so much into me. He was one of the main reasons I was so successful in my career. He had mentored me through so much and really invested in my life. . . . please, please let him understand.

The next 20 minutes of conversation. . . I will never forget.

The excitement in his eyes was . . . overwhelming. He was so interested in where I would be going and what I would be embarking on. Even though I didn’t have a whole lot of answers, he was so supportive. He wanted to know what he could do to help, how he could get me ready for this next phase of life. We talked about when my last day would be. We talked about whoever would replace me. We talked a few more logistics, but the conversation quickly came back around to me leaving. He reminded me that I had always told him that I wanted to do something other than be in the restaurant business. He knew stories of missions trips that I had been on before. He knew my heart. He said he knew this day would always come, he had just hoped it wouldn’t be this soon.

As our conversation was ending, he looked at me. His eyes were soft and sincere. I knew that the words he was about to speak . . . may not be easy to say. He reached across the table and put one of his hands on mine. My eyes began to fill with tears. . . . “Liz, I want you to know what an honor it has been to have you in my life and also to be a part of yours. You truly are an amazing person and I know that this next phase of your life will be nothing but amazing. Promise me you will keep in touch.”

“Of course Brent . . . of course I will.”

“I’m serious Liz . . . promise me you will keep in touch.”

In that moment . . . it hit me. This was the first time that the reality of all this. . . hit me! I was leaving. This was happening. In five weeks I wasn’t going to have a job. In seven weeks I wasn’t going to have a home. But in that moment. . . that precious moment, the only thing that mattered was a friendship. And with hot tears streaming down my face . . . and a lump in my throat, I said, “Yes. . . I promise.”

I got up from the table and walked to the other side of the restaurant. I took a few deep breaths. I cried a little more. The building emotion was engulfing me. . . and now, I could finally let it. I sat down in a booth. As I sat . . . a joy, that I cannot explain, began to saturate my every being. In this moment I could have focused on all that I would be leaving, all the sadness that comes with a move. But all I could think about was, God. . . what’s next?? Cause this . . . this is getting exciting!!

October 1^st, 2009

A little over two weeks had passed. The phasing out process at work was going incredibly well. A replacement had been chosen. I was doing all I could to teach others my responsibilities, so that they could do them once I was gone.

Packing the townhome was beginning to prove to be a different story. There was so much to do. Things to give away. Things to store. Cleaning. Painting. Overwhelming . . . was an understatement.

One of the other factors that made packing the townhome a challenge, was the fact that I didn’t know where I was going to live in Arkansas. Would I need my couch? Would I need pots and pans? So so so many unanswered questions. Emails with Lisa had been very few and far between. I hadn’t heard from her in quite awhile. I didn’t know if living with her was even an option any more. I asked the Lord if I could look for something else. . . maybe an apartment somewhere in Conway. His answer . . . No. This wasn’t the first time I had asked this question, but I figured that as the time for me to leave was drawing closer and closer that eventually the Lord would say, Yes . . now you can do this. Once again I figured that there was going to be something that I would have to do to make this all work out. But . . . that wasn’t how this was working. It never would be how this was working.

Still no place to live. I wasn’t worried. But in my mind we were running out of time. I was 19 days away from my last day at work. And 30 days from being out of my town home.

Calmly and humbly . . . I asked the Lord, yet again . . . Can I maybe email Ms. B and see if she knows of anyone else I can live with?

His response. . . Yes.

I wasted no time! I went to my computer, opened my email account, and began to compose an email in my head as the webpage loaded. As my Inbox appeared on the screen, I had (1) New Message. Interesting. I had checked my email that morning, I wonder what this could be. The first thing I noticed . . . The Sender: Lisa Rateliff.

Before I even opened the email, I knew what it would say.

I opened the email and began to read . . . yes, she still wanted me to come live with her.

Why had I ever questioned the way the Lord was

clearly orchestrating timing and people and places?

She had left her phone number and again I wasted no time. As the phone rang I was so excited to speak with her. She answered. We exchanged “hellos” and “how are you’s”. I told her how I had received her email and was still very interested in living with her. I told her that I had no other options as far as a living situation and she responded with words that quickly calmed my heart, “I want you to live with me.”

It was settled.

I had a place to live.

Details were discussed.

Move in days were planned.

I had a home in Arkansas.

Arkansas: Part 5

Colorado could always be home.

To be honest, I really don’t know if I will ever live in Colorado again . . .

So much was changing. So much was happening.

As I finished my drive to work . . . I knew that everything was going to be different.

A month or so passed and communication with anyone in Arkansas had been difficult. Random phone messages. Unanswered emails. Doubt. I couldn’t get a hold of Lisa to tell her that I had decided to move. I wanted to tell her I was very interested in finding out if the room at her home would be available to rent. Without any communication, I assumed that it was finally time for me to do something . . . take action . . . play a part in all this. I asked God if I could get on-line and start looking at apartment possibilities in the Conway area.

His voice was gentle yet firm, “No.”

Alright. . . . well can I email Ms. B and see if she knows of anyone else I can live with?

“No.”

Ok . . . well then what should I do?

“Be still . . . and know that I am God.”

Of course.

How quickly I had forgotten.

How had I already forgotten??

In my world I only had two months to get things settled before I left.

But in His world . . . two months was an eternity.

As more time passed there was something that I was going to have to DO.

Only me. No one else.

And in doing this . . . my move to Arkansas would be settled.

No retreating. No turning back.

I was going to have to give my notice to my boss, Brent.

Because of the position I was in, I didn’t feel like a normal two weeks notice would be sufficient. My position was not going to be easy to replace. So with careful thought, prayer and consideration of what all it would take for Brent to replace me, I decided to give him five weeks notice. This would be plenty of time for me to “phase out” of my current position and help, in any way I could, with my replacement. When it came to the physical moving part, I also needed some time to pack and clean my town home. I decided that my last day would be October 20^th. I pulled out my calendar to see how far back five weeks would be, the date just happen to land on September 15^th. Now I know what you’re probably thinking . . . September 15^th? What’s so important about September 15^th? Well September 15^th just happened to be my first day back to work from my time in Dallas for my brother’s wedding. It was perfect. The timing was absolutely perfect!

Now you would have thought that after all I had been through with this Arkansas adventure that I would not have been surprised by God’s little winks toward me.

But that is what makes the winks so special . . . they are always a surprise.

September 15^th, 2009

It felt like any other day.

The sun rose.

The air was clean and clear.

The mountains stood to the west in all their majesty and beauty.

But . . . there was something different about today . . .

This day would forever mark my life.

Memories flooded my mind and my heart.

June 6^th. Starbucks. My conversation with Stephanie and Becca.

The telephone call with James and the invitation to come check out Arkansas.

“My heart longs for something more.”

Ms. B and Lisa. Two amazing women, who welcomed me and

didn’t even know me. Maybe a place to live.

“It can really be this easy.”

Three months of loving my family and friends.

Three months of not having to do anything.

“Be still . . . and know that I am God.”

I knew that when I looked back on this story . . . I would never forget September 15^th.

I walked into work with an anxious heart.

I would have to sit through our manager meeting before I would be able to talk to Brent. As we all gathered at our normal meeting spot and sat down, my heart began to race!

Could they tell? Did anyone know how nervous I was? Someone’s gotta know!

I’m pretty sure I could have given myself a heart attack at this point. So I closed my eyes for a brief moment and breathed. “Lord . . . I can’t do this. I cannot make it through this meeting without You. I cannot make it through this conversation with Brent . . . without you! I cannot make it through this day . . . without YOU!”

Without fail . . . or even hesitation the calm, soothing, soft voice whispered once again,

“I am here. I am right here. I am in the rays of the sun . . . I am in the freshness of the air . . . and those . . . are My mountains. Do not be afraid. We will do this together.”

The meeting was long. And of course everyone needed Brent’s time after the meeting . . . Everyone! So towards the end of the meeting I looked across the table, at Brent and said as calmly but as seriously as I could . . . “Brent. . . I really, really need to talk to you after the meeting.” Without much consideration of what I had just said, he quickly responded, “You and everyone else.”

Great. . . would this even happen today? I didn’t think I could handle another day of nerves, sweaty palms and a pounding heart. So frustrating. Even though four of us needed to talk to Brent, in all reality, he would be lucky to get to two of us. His schedule is so crazy after manager meetings. He had conference calls, numbers to run . . . ugghhh . . . the next thing I knew, everyone was getting up from the table and three words were spoken that rang through the room . . .

“Liz, you’re first!”

Arkansas: Part 4

As I left Arkansas and began the long drive back to Colorado . . .

I knew . . . I would be back.

Words fail me when I try to explain what I felt those 15 hours and 32 minutes . . .

those 913 miles back to Colorado. It felt like an eternity. Mile after endless mile.

I turned off the radio. Turned off my cell phone. Turned off the noise.

Left only with my thoughts.

And I drove.

So many emotions raced through me.

Excitement of what was to be. Sadness of what I would be leaving.

Joy in what could be. Heartache of what I would be missing.

Tears.

Once again.

Tears were something that I use to hold back.

Tears were something I use to fight.

Tears . . . were now . . . beautiful.

July 15, 2009

First day back in Colorado.

A new question started to make things come to a quick reality,

When do I leave?

Do I leave as quickly as possible? Do I give my notice to work now? Do I wait?

If I do wait . . . how long should I wait? Hmmm . . . there was still my lease. It was the only thing that really kept me in Colorado. It ended October 31^st. I could pay to get out of it . . . but that would cost a lot of money. I could maybe find someone to take over for me . . . but that would be quite complicated. I could move and try to find a way to pay two rents . . .

In this moment . . . I had literally given myself a headache trying to figure out how I was going to do this. How would I make this all work.

I thought . . . this is it. This is when I need to start doing something.

I have to do something. I have to do this!!

Once again a calm, soothing, soft voice . . . slowly began to speak to my

anxious heart . . .

“Be still . . . and know that I am God.”

Those words still echo in my heart to this very day. Be still . . . Know that HE is God. To be honest . . . I didn’t really know what that looked like. I was so accustomed to doing. Even if the doing was pointless. Being busy . . . had consumed my life.

I thrived on it.

I was addicted to it.

But in this moment . . . all of that changed. . . . I changed.

I would wait till my lease ended in October.

I would enjoy these last 4 months I had in Colorado.

I would spend time with my amazing parents and seek their wisdom through all of this.

I would cherish every moment with Becca, my precious little sister . . . my best friend.

I would engage in every deep conversation I could with my roommate Stephanie,

my heart and soul.

I would love and encourage my staff at work. My epic dream team!!

The people who had captured my heart . . . that is who I would invest in.

This is all I would be . . . doing.

“Be still . . . and know that I am God.”

It seemed so contradictory to not make plans or pursue the “task at hand”. But the promise of . . . “It can really be this easy. If you let Me do this . . . it can be this easy” . . . penetrated my heart. This was no longer just a thought, it was becoming a state of being. Resting in His promises and trusting in His goodness.

Where else would I rather be?

A few weeks later I was driving to work. My routine route . . . the interstate.

The best part about my drive. The view. The majestic Rocky Mountains on my left.

If you don’t already know . . . I am a Colorado girl. Through and through. I love the mountains and everything that comes with them. One of my favorite things to do . . . snowboard. There is something about being so close to His creation. Most of the time I enjoy being by myself. The sound of my board carving into the snow . . . and the amazing times I have with God. It was something I cherished and really learned to love. As I continued to drive and glance at those amazing mountains . . . what I thought to be a silly question . . . kept coming to mind . . . .

“Lord can I please keep my snowboard? You know how much I love to ride and how much I love the mountains. I know there will be no use for it in Arkansas . . . but it really is special to me. But then again, You already know this.”

That calm, soothing, soft voice of the Lord . . . slowly began to speak once again.

“Of course you can.

I love that time with you.

I cherish it more than you do.

I would love it if you keep your board.”

But the voice didn’t stop there like I expected it to.

“And . . . I want you to know something else . . . it’s alright for Colorado to always be home, whether you are here or not . . . it’s ok . . . it can always be home.”

I didn’t even realize that I needed to hear this . . . but after my heart heard it . . .

A peace that I will never be able to capture in words . . . saturated my soul.